#dazai with suspenders

[ssaraexposs]

LOOKING SHARP AND BUSINESS ONLY

(And absolutely fine)

[cosmobrain00]

if femzai doesnt look like the worst girlfailure on the block I dont want her

[yumaisbored]

i firmly believe Dazai would hack into Yokohama systems so that all of the ‘have you seen this criminal’ notifications about Chuuya would have a picture of a chihuahua photoshopped over his mugshot… alternatively, he’d put up ‘have you seen my dog’ fliers with a shitty picture of Chuuya (giving Chuuya’s own phone number to call ofc)

[ohhcinnybuns]

This art of Dazai in Atsushi’s get-up screams catzai

Like, What do you mean this man is not going ‘merow meow?’ I can hear it!

[kaurwreck]

ooh you’re reading beast! when you finish, and only if you’re inclined, i’d be very curious to see your thoughts on how you make sense of chuuya’s character in that universe? personally, i have trouble analyzing him because he only appears for an insignificant paragraph cameo with virtually zero impact on the story— and tbqh there’s a tiiiiny tinhat part of me that suspects he was only included at all to head off questions about another potential dark-era-esque absence— but regardless of that and assuming asagiri did have something in mind with including him considering he is in there at the end of the day, i’d love to know how you make sense of him within that narrative?

yes, chuuya's hypervigilance and dazai's dismissiveness of him illustrate how far dazai's gone and how unreachable he's become, expositing Dazai's route of self destruction and foreshadowing his suicide.

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

to be a homosexual. augh

[die-with-me-dazai]

Here’s your daily reminder that sh*tkoku stans don’t see dazai on his own, don’t look at his trauma, his story, his personality, only a good self projection to get with ch**y* and if you call yourself a dazai stan and ship sh*tkoku, then I have some news for you ❤️

[sensitiveheartless]

Storms always stress out my cat. He hates thunder, heavy rain, strong gusts of wind, pretty much any loud noise he can hear — he either ends up hiding under the bed or wandering about and yelling mournfully until the bad weather stops.

Unless, that is, he is sandwiched between me and the back of the couch. If he is thoroughly squished, he chills out and starts purring. He purposefully puts himself in that position, too: if he’s not squished enough for his liking, he will wedge himself further against my side until he is.

He doesn’t like to be touched directly very much, and he’ll turn into a snapping turtle if I try to pet him in this state, so sometimes I roll onto my side so he can be squished between my back and the couch cushions without having to worry about being disturbed. And then whenever he’s done he can just wriggle his way out and lay by my feet instead.

Anyway this is making me imagine Chuuya using Dazai as a weighted blanket during storms and jamming himself up against Dazai’s side even when there isn’t much room, because it feels safer that way. That sometimes Chuuya needs to be completely squished by another person in order to chill out (perhaps partly because the feeling of a human pressed up beside him, warm and solid, is enough to remind his subconscious that he’s not back in N’s lab. Not suspended in liquid, not tied up and impaled and shocked. Maybe he used to sleep in piles with the other kids in the Sheep, only to lose that reassurance once he joined the Port Mafia, and he doesn’t even know why he’s become so anxious and untethered until he rediscovers that comfort later)

…Of course, despite needing that comfort, he will bite Dazai’s fingers if Dazai tries to poke him.

[chiliyue-archived]

4:07PM

↬ taking naps with them

Includes; Dazai, Chūya, Ranpo, Fyodor, Sigma, Tetchō

Not requested ! [Bsd M.List] ♡

-

—DAZAI

An ambiance of silence furnished the bedroom, the light sound of your breathing providing a source of comfort to the burnette.

A milky eye peeked open from where he rested, cheek pressed against your lap. The complacent grin of his undeniable, beaming at your below as his breathy sigh intruded the silence. Propping himself up, a cotton arm extended out, the pads of his digits brushing along your features.

His index finger took placement at your temples, pausing before traveling south along your cheek structure. He was busy mapping out the bridge of your nose when your face scrunched up, brows furrowing at the touch. "What are you doing?" The question fell upon deaf ears as the limb retracted.

" I'll have to restart now." Dazai lets in a fatuous display of feign annoyance, the stretching of his cheeks betraying his brewing playfulness. His finger shifted to position back along your temple, blunt nail trailing down again languishly.

You recline against him. His finger glided across your skin in a manner you've expressed praise in; as so he had it committed the movement to memory. Sleepily, you echoed, " What are you doing?" His reponse came nonchalantly, visage focused where his nail trailed - it was disrupted by the ghost of a smile on his lips and a beaming glint.

" Counting the freckles/markings on your face." The corners of his mouth twitched into a more defined grin - uncharacteristically voided of the teasing undertone - it was a besotted look more than anything. "Go back to sleep, I'll wake you when I'm done."

—CHŪYA

" Let's get you to bed."

You could faintly recall being wrapped up in a thick blanket before being suspended right off your feet. The fabric felt warm, so much so that it must have just come out of the dryer. Its comfort permeated along your arms, acting as a catalyst to your slipping state. Toned arms held you close, your cheek pressed against Chūya's shoulder. You could faintly make out the scent of his cologne and light squeezes from the hand purchased on your hip.

Soon enough your back pressed against the familiar bed, the hand at your hip adjusting you as necessary to the comforter. A pair of lips reached your cheeks, kissing each one in sincerity before concluding it with one to your lips.

" Stay with me, please?" You murmured when Chūya's hands withdrew, a hot streak left in its reminder - far warmer than the blanket as cozy as it was.

You really didn't have to ask. He had already made his mind up the moment he found you rubbing your eyes and yawning at your second skin of fatigue. The bed dipped as he took the vacant place beside you, renewing the warmth that had previously started to ebb away.

Carefully, he reached out to click off his alarm before fully settling beside you. The sigh that left him was involuntary but leveled out as comfort overtook him; the way his taut muscles in his body sunk evidence of his growing indulgence. Wordlessly, his hands slipped around your waist, his body curling around you like cocoon - both from a subconscious effort to shield you but also earth himself in your radiating heat.

The tip of his his nose nestled against your shoulder, lips grazing the surface of your skin. From where he rested, Chūya's eyes took in your details, burning it to memory; he may not be able to dream, but this wasn't so bad either.

—RANPO

" You have to give me a nap kiss first." Ranpos voice halted your reverie, heavy eyes peeking open. You were greeted with the sight of Ranpo shuffling close to you, his face taking on a diametrical expression to that of his common lax one.

" Nap kiss?" He nodded, head propping close and waiting.

Your peck to his furrowed brows did nothing to alleviate the crease between it. If anything, his grip of your clothes tighten, a sound more attributed to a beg and childish compliant leaving him.

A dainty finger pointed his neglected lips, already puckered and gravitating toward you eagerly. " Right here." His words were skewed and voice raspy, but the look of determination embedded in his gaze was candid even amongst the dampened lighting.

You leaned forward, properly granting him his request. You could feel him smile against your lips in pure satisfaction, grip loosening and falling to your lap. He attempted to make the tender exchange linger for as much as possible before withdrawing.

" This isn't a goodnight kiss, by the way. I'm expecting one later, so don't forget." His words would have been more serious had it not been for the way he rubbed his eyes, latching close to you like a koala.

And even in his moments of exasperation, the lopsided smile on his face betrayed him, giving way to a tender moment amongst the afternoon.

—FYODOR

The thrumming of his heart anchored you to a hazy state, it's deep echo resonating from the chamber to your ears. A pallid hand rested on the small of your back, keeping you in place whilst his other thumbed through a book - though mindlessly he turned the pages as his foucs was more centered on the lazy circles he traced on your spine.

The yawn that slipped you didn't go unnoticed. And although you couldn't see his eyes, the shift in his gaze was palpable, accentuated as the motions of his fingers stilled. " Tired Myshka?"

Fyodor hummed in disapproval when you shook your head, a light 'clack' sound emulating the room as he discarded the book with a flick of his hand. The appendage favored to pinch your chin, a chuckle escaping him as adroit hands directed your gaze onto himself. " You are a terrible liar, my dear."

His following actions were calculated, voice taking a lower octave and brushing his hands along your shoulder blades in a seasoned manner that only he could muster.

You weren't sure if what you felt next was a play of your wearied mind, as something pressed against the crown of your head. It was in sync with the swipe of his thumb over your pulse point - amassing to form an authentic intimate display and push you right over the precarious edge of sleep.

His voice rippled against your head, muddled as hands moved to push your hair back. " Such a distraction, my dear. Hmm, perhaps you're making me go soft." He situated you against his chest again, his hum still suffused from the column of his throat. " I suppose even I have my weaknesses."

—SIGMA

It had required a lot of encouragement on your behalf, Sigma admittely nervous when it came to silces of affection and the prospect of napping never suited his interest before - additionally he was occupied with the Casino and he seldom recieved moments of leisure. But if there's one thing he falls victim to, it's that he can't say no to you.

Your body was snuggled up against him with his head pressed on top of your own. The more you squished your cheek into him, the more he swore his heart would brust from the gesture alone.

However, he was more enamored with how the leaking sunlight bathed you in gentle warm hues, leaving your skin warm as his fingers roamed aimlessly. He briefly pondered how you could look even more enticing as the hues danced along your face.

" Oh, you're already asleep." He mumbled as his stupor halted by the sound of a gentle snore. His gaze softened as it landed on your figure again, leaving from where his fingers kneaded at your thigh. A tickling became prevalent along his body as the sight assuage him unknowingly.

Sigma found it difficult to fall asleep himself, shackled by the nerves that shadowed his will of rest. The panning of your breath against his skin had a tacit effect on him, cheeks warming and chest stirring in bubbling affinity. Yet he wasn't entirely opposed to watching you nap soundly as he inwardly struggled to quell his erratic pulse - your heartfelt snuggling the incentive.

An arm draped itself over your hips, providing a comforting hold. His other, however, traced along your arms before curving up into your hair; his touch diffusing his unspoken infatuation. He swept some locks within his fingers, bringing to place a kiss against it.

The moment doused him in a form of peace, a momentary escape from the clutches of work and abysmal stress. His legs tangled with yours, not wanting the afternoon to end.

—TETCHŌ

" Lay against me."

The words had left him naturally almost nonchalantly had it not been for the sweet smile that gave way to his placid intentions.

" You look tired, I have some free time." His hand patted against his lap, punctuating his words whilst being terribly oblivious to his own deepening cheeks.

When it was evident he wasn't going to withdraw his statement, you gently situated yourself against his build, head cushioned right on his sternum. Calloused fingers slipped beneath the hem of your clothing, drawing contours along the bare skin in fluid motions. His thumb lightly brushed along your spine, his touch containing a tincture of zeal.

It was impossible to keep yourself awake, not with Tetchō murmuring sweet nothings in a silky voice, his words of "I love you" soft in the quieting room. His voice was gentle, considerate to your drowsy person but mixed with a tone of fondness that he had always expressed to you in.

Even as you found yourself deep in the clutches on your subconscious, his syrupy words persisted perpetually. His eyes were glazed in a layer of undisputed solace, golden irses diluting in what could only be described as undying admiration.

He shuddered lightly whenever you shifted in his arms, but his muscles remained slacken and even lazily wrapped around your waist. He relished being in your presence, even in the silence it leeched a form of warmth unmatched to the sunlight pouring through the windows.

Tetchō was sure to remain stagnant amongst your slumber, only moving to push aside your straying hairs and maneuver a kiss to your temples. The moment was shrouded in a cloud of bliss, his reverence scribed with gentle features akin to an awestruck child entranced by things on a screen.

He would like to do this more often, he reckoned, letting you sleep against him when granted such opportunities. When you wake up, he'll be sure to spoil you with a good meal. And many kisses too.

-

A/n; This is self-indulgent, I've been taking too many naps lately (im gonna take another one rn, bestios :])

Um I kinda made them all soft oopsie

[earlgarden-archived]

You are all mine

ft. Dazai Osamu

synopsis. Sleeping on a hammock with Dazai Osamu on a cozy afternoon

warnings. none (?)

a/n. I remember seeing a Pinterest post about something similar to this, but I can't find it, so sorry I can't credit anyone for the inspiration :(

The tranquil afternoon sun bathed the small garden in a warm, golden glow, casting dappled shadows through the leaves of the trees. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves and swayed the hammock hanging between two sturdy branches. In that hammock, Dazai reclined, his dark eyes half-lidded as he observed the world around him.

Beside him, you lay, your head nestled comfortably on his chest, your breaths slow and even in the rhythm of sleep. Dazai's slender fingers traced idle patterns on your back, his touch light as a feather. He wore a small, affectionate smile as he cherished this serene moment with you.

"Belladonna," he murmured, his voice soft and filled with tenderness. "You look so peaceful when you sleep. I can't help but envy your dreams."

Your eyelashes fluttered, and you let out a contented sigh, mumbling something unintelligible in your slumber. Dazai chuckled, his heart swelling with adoration.

He gently rocked the hammock with his feet, a rhythmic motion that sent you deeper into your dreams. The world faded away, and it was just the two of you, swaying gently in the hammock beneath the lazy afternoon sun.

Dazai continued to speak, his words a gentle melody that accompanied the swaying of the hammock. "I've been to many places and seen countless things, but none of them compare to moments like this. Just you and me, away from the chaos of the world."

The leaves above rustled in agreement, as if nature itself conspired to keep this haven of tranquility undisturbed. Dazai pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, his lips barely grazing your hair.

"You know," he whispered, "I think I've finally found my place in the world. It's right here, with you, where everything feels perfect."

Your fingers twitched, and a sleepy smile tugged at your lips. Dazai couldn't help but wonder what dreams danced behind your closed eyelids.

The world continued to turn, time flowing gently like the breeze, as Dazai and you lay in the hammock, sharing a moment of quiet intimacy. In that serene garden, with the man you loved, you were both suspended in time, far from the troubles and challenges of the outside world.

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request Atsushi, Dazai, and Chuuya with an s/o who has a thread manipulation ability?

Atsushi

“What are you doing?” Atsushi asked as he saw [Y/N] in the breakroom. Their hand waving over what looked like a cape.

“Oh, this is Ranpo-sama’s. He asked me to fix it for him.” The holes in the fabric stitching together like new from their ability, Ties that Bind. “It got nicked on the last mission he went on and he’s been upset about it ever since.”

Atsushi smiled. “It’s nice of you to fix it for him.”

“It’s really no trouble.” Invisible threads spread out from [Y/N]’s back, almost like wings, to pick up some tea & biscuits on the counter and place them on the table. “A thing like this is nothing.”

Atsushi continued to smile. “I wish I had a more useful ability like this. Mine just seems to have the power to destroy.” At least that was how he felt sometimes.

“Don’t say that Atsushi, your powers provide you with the ability to protect.” [Y/N] told them, as they poured the tea themselves with their own two hands. “Every ability has its pros & cons. I won’t say that I’ve used my ability for the best purpose all the time.”

Atsushi never asks them about how they use their ability on missions. They don’t go together often, but he knows enough that the ‘pros & cons’ they are talking about usually means people get killed. “Don’t say that your abilities aren’t useful though.”

He smiled again and sat down at the table, in front of his poured tea. “Ok. I won’t.” He promised. Enjoying the rest of the afternoon with [Y/N].

Chuuya

Chuuya growled as his opponent mocked him again. “What’s the matter Port Mafia-san? Can’t hit a target you can’t catch?”

This guy, this idiot, had the ability to teleport anywhere he chose. Chuuya figured it must be short range, or at least an area in sight, since he hadn’t left the building yet. But it was just getting really annoying because he could catch him if he just brought the whole building down! But apparently he wasn’t allowed to do that….anymore.

“You Port Mafia goons are all brawn and no brains! You need to get up pretty early in the morning to get one past Monsieur--!” The idiot stopped talking, cutting off what Chuuya had to assume was an annoying introduction, when his arm was suddenly caught in a mass of silvery string.

“My, my, so loud…” The annoying man looked alarmed as he saw [Y/N] come out of the shadows. He wanted to tell him that he should be alarmed. But he had been so annoying that Chuuya didn’t want to help him. “You know my mother always told me that people who just keep talking, usually have nothing of value to add to the conversation at all.”

The annoying man smirked at their reply. “Nothing of value, eh? We’ll see about that!”

He teleported again. Trying to come up behind [Y/N] for some alleged clever attack, but found himself caught in another bundle of threads. When [Y/N] cooly looked over their shoulder at him, the idiot became visibly scared and teleported again. This time away, but again in another mass of threads.

This continued over & over with the idiot trying to teleport out of his situation. Panic and fear apparently making it impossible that he had already fallen into [Y/N]’s literal web. The more he tried to get out the worse it became. Until all that was left was a silvery white mask of threads, suspended in mid air by their attachments, and the idiots muffled screams.

“I could have had him.” Chuuya remarked when it was all over.

“I know you could have dear.” [Y/N] cooed. Trying to soothe his pout. “But, leadership is so stingy against property damage these days. This way is much easier.”

They linked arms with Chuuya and walked out with him. An associate team already there to collect. “Don’t let that idiot get out!” He ordered them. “Let him rot in there for all I care.”

“That’s my big strong guy!”

Dazai

Dazai wheezed as he came out of the river. His left arm still handcuffed, but broken off from his right, giving him the opportunity to push his wet hair out of his eyes. ‘Damnit’ He thought. ‘Failed again. I was sure the barrel trick would have worked this time.’

“Have a nice little sail?” Dazai looked up the bank to see [Y/N] standing there. Pristine and infatuating as ever, but with that icky face they made when he tried one of these stunts. “Did you at least ask the shopkeeper this time before you stole his barrel?”

“He didn’t seem to mind.” Dazai replied as he walked up the bank. Sore, but alive. Like he hadn’t been punished enough for being alive. “I take it this is you then? My plan was surely fool proof this time.”

“Then it obviously wouldn’t work since you are a fool.”

They were avoiding the question, which gave Dazai all the information he needed to know. Of course it had been them.

Ties that Bind. A thread manipulation technique that had incredible defensive and offensive capabilities. Virtually limitless from distance. Practically indestructible bindings. And one other very special technique.

‘Threads’ were not only bestowed upon [Y/N] in the literal sense. They were also metaphorical. Through their ability they could connect and manipulate the secret threads of life between people for their own gain. Relationships. Consciousness. Memories. And yes, even, the intangible thread of life force. If they put their mind to it.

“Why won’t you just let me die?” Dazai asked them. He wasn’t begging. He was still too proud to beg for death. “It must be a terrible drain keeping my thread intact all this time.”

“Don’t act all pious by pretending it would be my benefit to let you die. If I can stop your idiocy, for as long as I can, I will.” They turned to walk away, and of course Dazai followed. He’d already tried to kill himself once today. He didn’t like a double show. “Where would I be without you, Dazai? You just plan to leave me alone?”

“I offered to have you come with me, but you refused.” He replied. Shrugging his shoulders like he’d asked them to come with him to a café, not the other side. “I even offered to let you choose how. Or to use your ability. Being bound together for all eternity by your invisible threads sounds like a wonderful way to go!”

[Y/N] hmphed. “I don’t want to die like you Dazai. I know I can’t stop it forever. But I don’t want to speed it along.”

The tall brunette shrugged at that. Respecting their decision. “I suppose, for now, I can’t either. With you keeping my thread whole, I guess I’ll have to stick around longer.”

“Is it really that horrible living Dazai?”

He wanted to tell them yes but…when he looked into their eyes, all he could think of was, “no. I guess not horrible.”

[chuuyrr]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ SANTA DOESN'T KNOW YOU LIKE I DO — DAZAI OSAMU ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

𐙚₊ CW(s): f! reader, exes to lovers, angst to fluff/comfort, christmas/holiday setting, he still calls you pet names like baby, love, and sweetheart

𐙚₊˚⊹ SYNOPSIS: underneath the twinkling christmas lights, you and osamu embrace the promise of a love rekindled

𐙚₊ NOW PLAYING: santa doesn't know you like i do by sabrina carpenter && new years day by taylor swift ᝰ.ᐟ

in the heart of yokohama, where the winter winds whispered secrets and the city adorned itself in festive lights, you find yourself wandering around in a deep sigh, clutching yourself with your coat adorning you.

the city exuded warmth, and the scent of roasted chestnuts, gingerbread, and an open fire from christmas markets and stores mingled with the laughter of children and adults enjoying the holidays.

as you strolled through the festive scene, you couldn't escape the echoes of your shared past with dazai.

you then stop in front of a familiar bar which was decorated with bright christmas lights and wreaths, and at that moment, you find yourself lost in a sea of memories, reminiscing about the shared moments with osamu, before the inevitable drift that led to your breakup.

among those recollections, two particular scenes painted themselves vividly in your mind, haunting yet bittersweet.

one memory that lingered like a gentle melody was the night you and osamu ventured into the same dimly lit bar, saying that you two deserve a treat.

the air hummed with the soulful tunes of saxophones and pianos as you two nestled into a corner booth. the ambient glow cast a warm aura, reflecting in dazai's brown sugar eyes as you and him clinked glasses of your high-ball whiskeys, toasting to the beauty of the night.

your laughter resonated with the rhythm of the music, creating a symphony of shared joy. osamu, with his enigmatic smile, leaned in to whisper secrets that only you could understand amidst the jazz-infused atmosphere.

it was a night where time seemed to suspend, and your connection deepened through the language of music, laughter, and stories which lead to a shared kiss that became your first.

another memory that tugged at the corners of your heart was the night you spent at osamu's apartment. the air was thick with familiarity as you found solace in the haven he had crafted, even if it was quite empty and rather mininalist, considering how he didn't have much.

either way, you and osamu talked about everything and nothing, the conversation weaving effortlessly between trivialities and profound truths—some even about his day at work, how annoying working on reports was. you even find yourself dancing with him around his kitchen in the middle of the night.

as that night unfolded, osamu's clothes became a comforting embrace, wrapping you in the scent of familiarity. wearing his oversized shirt, you found a sense of closeness, a tangible reminder of the intimacy you once shared.

the cityscape outside his window faded into the background as you and him reveled in the simplicity of being together in his futon, you in his warm embrace, head tucked beneath his chin as you lay on his chest, and he hummed a peacefully melody with his fingers running through your hair to lull you.

the quiet hum of his apartment became a sanctuary in those stolen hours, and even he thought it became a place he could call home when it was previously simply a scarcely filled space, and now it felt more than that. that is, until the fall arrived.

it was a night where the barriers between you and him melted away, leaving only the echoes of whispered confessions of "i love yous" and sweet nothings, along with the soft rustle of borrowed clothes.

now, you stand alone with the weight of these memories, you couldn't help but wonder if those moments were fragments of a love that had slipped through your fingers.

the bar and the borrowed clothes became artifacts of a time when you and osamu reveled in the magic of each other's company, a magic that time, circumstances, and perhaps your own choices had dimmed.

and still, you held onto those memories, recognizing them as delicate fragments of a past that was, in its own way, a testament to the beauty of what you two once had.

the air was crisp, and the city bustled with the festive energy of the holiday season, and you were about to turn away from the bar only to walk and bump into a familiar figure.

there, in the midst of the bustling crowd, stood dazai, and time seemed to freeze for an instant as your eyes met his ever same, warm brown sugar eyes, and the weight of unspoken words lingered in the air—a moment suspended in the delicate dance between past and present.

"osamu," you murmur softly, the name escaping your lips almost as a reflex. his gaze, once distant, softened with a recognition that mirrored your own.

a tentative smile played on his lips, a silent acknowledgment of the shared history that bounds you both, "hey, fancy meeting you here," he remarks, his voice carrying the hint of a memory you both couldn't escape.

as the crowd flowed around you and dazai, you find yourself standing in a pocket of stillness, a space where the weight of your past lingered.

"what are you doing out here? looking for presents, dear?" dazai strikes a conversation, but you can tell he seemed to be trying to hold himself back. you can tell he was very much ecstatic to see you again despite before.

"no, i was just going for a walk," you respond, rubbing your arm as you blink softly at him.

"just going for a walk this holiday, huh?" he narrows his eyes, a small chuckle escaping his breath, and his gaze soon draws towards the bar where you two would go for a drink, dine, and date.

like a canvas of unread stories, his eyes then hold, a mix of emotions, "funny how memories have a way of catching up with us," he replies, his gaze tracing the invisible threads that connected your past to this chance encounter.

"you know, sometimes, i do wonder if our memories are trying to tell us something," dazai muses, his words resonating with a quiet introspection as you two stood there, grappling with the unspoken question of what these chance encounters meant.

dazai's eyes, once filled with the mischievous sparkle that characterized him, now furrows in a subtle frown as he observed your quiet and somewhat awkward demeanor. the cheerful and festive background chatter of the city around you seemed to fade, leaving only the palpable tension between you and him.

"so," dazai began, a playful lilt in his voice as if attempting to break the uneasy silence, "you've become the epitome of quiet contemplation, i see. is this a new tactic to throw off my deductive skills?" his words were accompanied by a teasing smile, a familiar attempt to coax you into banter.

however, your response remained trapped in the awkwardness that seemed to have enveloped you. reminiscing memories had resurrected emotions that you struggled to articulate, and the weight of unspoken words hung in the air.

his playful demeanor faded slightly, replaced by a genuine concern mirrored in the subtle downturn of his lips. "heh, you're usually more... animated," he mutters, his gaze searching for clues in the quietness that now defined you.

"i guess i've changed, dazai," you mumble, attempting to offer an explanation for the unspoken shift in your dynamic. the words, however, felt inadequate, like leaves carried away by the wind before they could settle.

dazai's eyebrows knit together in a mild frustration, especially when you no longer address him as such, "change, my love, is a curious thing. but this quiet version of you doesn't quite suit the narrative i had in mind," he teases, yet the tease carried an undercurrent of genuine curiosity.

as he continued to speak, the air between you two seemed to thicken with unspoken tension. his attempts at light banter fell against the backdrop of my quiet contemplation, creating a dissonance that neither of you anticipated.

a sigh escapes him, a subtle acknowledgment of the unforeseen awkwardness, "i thought we could maybe reminisce and laugh about old times, but it seems like i've stumbled upon a different scene altogether," his frown deepening.

in that moment, the vulnerability beneath dazai's usual charm became apparent. the frown on his face reflected not just confusion but a genuine longing for the familiarity, the connection that once flowed effortlessly between the two of you.

"hey, since we're already in front of the bar we used to frequent, do you mind sharing a drink with me tonight?" he asked, his tone carrying a mix of nostalgia and vulnerability.

your eyes widen a bit in shock. you know you shouldn't, but it just feels so right to say,

"no, i don't mind at all."

memories of laughter, music, and stolen glances resurfaced, painting a vivid scene against the backdrop of the night in the bar of cozy glow of christmas lights and laughter and merriment, yet the weight of those moments hanging in the air.

dazai's gaze became more introspective, his words chosen with care as the two of you sat together by the bar on the cushioned stools with your usual high-ball whiskeys.

"you know, i've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about us and everything that happened," he starts quietly after taking a sip from his drink, "there are words left unsaid, and i think it's time to address them."

as dazai spoke, a rare sincerity colored his voice, unraveling the layers of complexity that often shrouded his emotions, and the night now became a stage for a conversation that held the potential for healing.

"i suppose so," you say back quietly as you swirl your drink around, holding it by the rim and making the ice cube clink against the glass.

you turn to look at dazai, and you see him a take a deep breath as he places his hands in the pocket of his sandy brown coat.

"i want to say sorry," dazai continues, his eyes searching yours for a reaction, "sorry for the moments i let slip away, for the words i said and didn't say, and for the distance that grew between us, and i never meant for it to end like that.."

the rare vulnerability in his admission hung in the air, a bridge between the past and the present. the ambiance of the bar now stood witness to a moment of genuine confession.

"and i miss you," dazai confesses, his gaze never leaving yours, and you can hear the sincerity in his voice, "i miss the laughter, the shared silences, and the way you understood the chaos within me, and if i can be completely honest, i still love you."

the weight of those words settled in the air, carrying with them the echoes of a love that had weathered storms and yet lingered in the recesses of the past. the quietness between you two even seemed to amplify the significance of the moment, as if the universe itself conspired to create a space for the honesty that had long been overdue.

your heart, a mosaic of emotions, responded to his words, caught between the scars of the past and the possibility of a future rewritten.

you, too, couldn't deny the resonance between you and him, "i guess, christmas has a way of making even the coldest hearts nostalgic," you say in a quiet giggle, your gaze meeting his.

the chilly night seemed to warm however.

"i'm sorry too. i'm sorry for giving up on us," you sigh, taking sip of your drink for liquid courage as the unspoken words became spoken now, "i just, it felt like there was no other way, and that this is for the best for us, osamu."

"you called me osamu again," a smile now tugs on his lips, his eyes lighting up with hope.

"oh, shut up," a smile, too, breaks on your face but you sigh softly once more as you look at him once more, "but i mean every word, osamu."

"i know you do, sweetheart," dazai says with a nod before he raises his glass to you.

"yeah," you hum softly as your raise the glass in return to his, toasting to him.

amidst the snowflakes and the soft glow of christmas lights outside, dazai and you find yourselves in the midst of an unexpected reunion, the chilly air echoed with warm memories, and beneath the twinkling stars.

this festive season really had a peculiar way of unraveling emotions, and as you crossed paths with dazai and it was evident that the connection between you two was more than a mere coincidence.

after a heartfelt conversation of unspoken words between you two with a few drinks at the bar, dazai offered to take you back to your place since it was quite late despite the holidays.

however, in a quiet corner just near your place, away from the laughter and merriment, dazai's eyes met yours as he walked right by your side.

"what is it?" you ask, looking up at him.

a subtle smirk plays on his lips as he pauses his tracks, and so do you, "you know, santa doesn't know you like i do."

it was a statement layered with memories of shared secrets and intimate moments.

as you exchanged glances, the familiarity of your history danced between you two, like a delicate snowfall. you genuinely smile nonetheless at his words, "maybe we've been on the naughty list for too long," you teased, a hint of nostalgia in your voice.

dazai took a step closer, his hand reaching for yours, "and santa may not understand us, but perhaps we can rewrite our story," he suggests, his gaze holding a sincerity that transcended the mask of indifference he often wore, "yeah?"

surrounded by the symphony of the season, you can't help but feel a little emotional as a genuine smile tugs on your lips as you nod and whisper, "yeah."

the clock struck midnight, time reaches its crescendo, and the world around you both seemed to pause in reverence to the magic of christmas, and just like that, coincidentally beneath the mistletoe that was hanging on the street light, his arms wrap around you and pulls you to him.

dazai's lips then meets yours in a kiss that spoke in volumes—a reunion of past and present, a bridge between shared memories and the promise of a love rediscovered.

as you two pull away, breathless, the quiet acknowledgment between you two lingered in the cold air of christmas eve. snow falls as he leans in again, and dazai holds you in his embrace like he always does.

"merry christmas, my sweet girl. i love you," dazai softly whispers in your ear before planting a kiss on your cheek this time around.

𐙚₊ A.N.: advanced merry christmas from yours truly my lovelies ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ • *✰ hope ya'll enjoy this christmas dazai fic i cooked in the kitchen—this is also my first time writing an exes to lovers fic, especially with dazai, so yeah !!

𐙚₊ TAGGING: @anqelically (here's ur food <3), && @dazaiyohane @lovedazai @osaemu (my dazai lover moots too ofc hehe, i think you guys will like this- ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ )

[devillexi]

Walking In On Their S/O Masturbate

BSD Headcanons

Warning: degradation, use of the word slut, extremely smutty, afab reader, etc.

Hope you enjoy!

Dazai:

• Usually after work, Dazai liked to hang out at your place, so he could tell you all about his day.

• But he didn't expect to find you pleasuring yourself in bed. You were so preoccupied with chasing after your own release that you didn't notice him standing in the doorway.

• He was in a trance really. Seeing your fingers work so desperately, in and out, opening your pretty pussy. Your slick pooling underneath you, leaving a wet spot on the bed. It was a magnificent sight to come home to.

• He couldn't take just watching any longer when you started whimpering his name, frustrated with how your fingers weren't enough compared to his cock that would often ravage, wreck, and destroy your pussy.

• You were startled out of your stupor when you felt something touch your hand and gasped when you saw it was Dazai. Your face blew up in a sea of red as you asked him how long had he been there.

• His answer: "Just long enough to get me hard, my belladonna. If your pretty fingers aren't enough to satisfy you, then I'll replace them with something that will."

• It's a long week before you could finally walk properly after that.

Chuuya:

• You little minx...! How could you masturbate without him!? You know he likes to watch.

• As punishment for touching yourself without his explicit permission, he uses his ability on you to lift you off the bed. An absolutely startling surprise for you as you had no idea he was there.

• You shrieked and called out his name in surprise. He smirked as he watched you desperately tried to sturdy yourself but you were in the air. What could you possibly balance yourself on?

• "My naughty kitten...what was that you were just doing a moment ago?"

• "Ch-Chuuya!? Put me down!"

• "Not until you finish that little performance you were doing. Ah, what was it? Stuffing your fucking cunt without my supervision!"

• You were ticked off for being interrupted. You were so close to reaching your high!

• You wanted to be let down, but this position of being suspended in mid air with your legs open was tempting as well.

• Chuuya could see it in your eyes and smirked, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. "Why don't you go ahead and show me just how you were pleasuring yourself, huh? Lemme see, baby."

• His husky voice, heavy with lust, tempted you and you brought your hands back to your soaking cunt.

• "That's it, baby," he coaxed you, a tightness forming in his pants as you held his gaze. He licked his lips as you circled your fingers around your clit and groaned out, "Do a good job and I'll reward you good, baby."

• "Promise, Chuu?"

• "Oh, it's a promise. Now work those fingers and cum for me. I want to see you dripping on this fucking floor."

Rampo:

• His deduction skills was what lead him here in front of your bedroom door as it stood open, slightly ajar. You see, Rampo had noticed a couple of changes that had him curious. Whenever he came by, he noticed that your sheets would be replaced and there was often a heavily perfume smell in the room. Now the sheets by themselves wouldn't have been a clue if it wasnt for the fact that you change them before he arrives, every other day. And the heavy fragrant smell was just the tip of the iceberg. So naturally he became curious about what you were hiding from him, but he already knew what it was.

• He watched as you plunged your pink dildo into your tight heat. Your legs trembling as they laid wide open for the whole world to see. He watched as your dainty fingers circled your clit as you repeatedly sunk your dildo deeper and deeper.

• He knew that this was what you were doing but his poor feelings were still hurt. Why masturbate when he can give you just what you need? Was your little toy more satisfying than his cock? He thinks the fuck not. He becomes increasingly angry at the thought of you masturbating and pleasuring yourself without his permission. Your pussy belongs to him.

• Unable and unwilling to witness such travesty, he barged into your room, startling you.

• "So this is what you've been up to? You've been so sneaky I almost had the wrong impression that you were cheating on me!," he glared. Your heated face flushed an even more bright crimson.

• "Ra-Rampo, I thought-"

• "Save it. I think you're in need of a punishment," he said as he stalked over, taking hold of your dildo as he stared you down. "This filthy thing's been hogging my pussy. Who gave you permission to do this, slut?"

• You stammered, stumbling over your words, unable to give him a proper answer. It didn't matter though as Rampo removed the offensive thing, forcing it out of you and making you yelp. He discarded it haphazardly in the corner of your room.

• "If you're gonna please this cunt, it's only going to be through me. I guess I gotta teach you who this pussy belongs to, huh?"

• You could only whimper as your legs were spread and Rampo slid in between. You could see the fury and lust swirl behind his eyes as he eyed how soaking wet you were.

• "So disappointing," he sighed, already unbuckling his belt. "Who knew you'd go behind my back like this, you little slut?"

[sickficideas]

Hello it’s me Rui again! You’ve been so good to me recently for absolutely no reason at all but your own kindness. But I’m here to share some sickfics with you and the wonderful lurking community that looks at your page. 

In my opinion, I think that finding good bsd sickfics is actually really hard. So many of them are too short, not enough buildup, emit enough suffering… you get the idea. I tend to find that sickfics are best (in my opinion) when there is good buildup and absolute suffering that then elicits care :]

I have 411 (mainly soukoku) bookmarks, that vary between hurt/comfort and sickfics. (Most are hurt/comfort because sickfics that I like are hard to find). I’ve spent an unholy amount of time going through thousands of bsd fics to find satisfactory sickfics, and I thought I’d share them here for anyone else who struggles finding them <3

Mainly focusing on emeto fics for this blog because that’s what the central topic here is lol. I hope you enjoy some of my stash! If you end up liking it, maybe I can share my larger stash of hurt/comfort. I wish this category wasn’t so sparse.

» Nothing || Fraink5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/11365941

A sadder fic with a bit less emeto. TW for major character death. I know it’s not exactly emeto, but it has its moments, and I find that this short little fic provides some of the same things that standard emeto fics do. Definitively worth the read if you’re in the right headspace for character death.

» Nebulous || way1203 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/37985296

Beautiful Chuuya sickfic oneshot. It’s about the aftermath of corruption. There’s a lot of delirium, sometimes it is hard to suspend my disbelief, but I still enjoy this one a lot.

» You’re a Canary, I’m a Coal Mine || PlayRough - https://archiveofourown.org/works/37985296

One of the more popular bsd sickfics writers, but I found myself needed to include this fic. It is quite long, but it’s basically just Dazai suffering from sickness and Chuuya assisting him. I’m ashamed to say this has become one of my bedtime stories.

» surely i’ll go bite the dirty dust || lizzielovessharks - https://archiveofourown.org/works/36533236

I can confidently proclaim this as one of the most criminally underrated bsd sickfics I’ve ever had the honour of discovering. Chuuya and Dazai are severely injured after a mission, Chuuya can hardly walk, and he’s sick. They just get so tormented but there’s so much comfort in this short and sweet fic. The ending always makes me smile, and I find myself coming back to this one very often.

» In Sickness and In Heath || TheShortestAlchemist - https://archiveofourown.org/works/48006802

Chuuya taking care of Dazai :]

Less emeto but still provides much comfort for the soul. 

» I’ll Take Care of You || Anonymous - https://archiveofourown.org/works/49949443

Sorry this one isn’t emeto either… but it’s chuuya being torment by Arahabaki so much that he gets a migraine that renders him unable to do anything. Still fulfills many sickfics desires.

» Poisoned Valentine || Wolf___Spirit - https://archiveofourown.org/works/53768785

Someone tries to send Chuuya home with poisoned chocolates with the intent to kill. However Dazai ends up eating them first, thus causing him to endure a lot of pain. (Read this honestly it’s wonderful)

» Burning Out || Trinity_of_Madness - https://archiveofourown.org/works/18899161

Long term corruption side effects… that’s all I’m gonna say. Take it or leave it as you see fit :] (it’s very fluffy, however it is quite bittersweet in case that’s not what you’re looking for)

» crimson headache, aching blush || kaiunkaiku - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24344119

More post corruption. Chuuya really needs a hug. He gets one. (Recommend reading lol)

» Underwater || TheGreatCatsby - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24344119

I’m so sorry. Not as much of a sickfic, but gosh it has to be one of my favourite comfort oneshots to ever exist. Chuuya does have a small emeto moment though. Ahhhh I’m so sorry for getting off track in these recommendations, I just have so many 🪦

» A Joyless Ride || calmlb - https://archiveofourown.org/works/55224694

This one is beautiful. I personally love the motion sickness Dazai headcannon. And this does a perfect job at demonstrating it. Dazai and Chuuya are on a mission, but they have to escape via Chuuya’s motorcycle. Dazai gets motion sickness that Chuuya had not considered.

» on standby for you || lonelydoctors - https://archiveofourown.org/works/48558496

Chuuya is hit with a virus ability and Dazai has to take care of him while he suffers. I really enjoyed this one. 

» Flashover || affectropia - https://archiveofourown.org/works/35640841

Bittersweet concept that is the reason behind this fic being a sickfic. However, it has a fluffy ending, and is only the care taking half of it. 

» beating drums and piping flutes - as they play the rain will fall || saanoir

This fic has to be another criminally underrated one. It’s the insomniac Dazai headcannon, except he starts feeling badly. All alone, he remembers a promise him and Chuuya made years ago. Hurt, even more comfort.

» I Think I’ll Just Collapse Right Here, Thanks || huntersserenity - https://archiveofourown.org/works/27219268

Chuuya has a drink poisoned. He is disoriented and not very functioning, but Dazai is there to assist him like he always is. (Very good, underrated, highly highly recommend)

Andd that’s all I got for now! Aside from another wonderful writers works that I didn’t include. Their username is ringingmaybelles and they make very very quality sickfics. Definitely read their work if you want the best there is to offer.

I’m sorry for the long list, I hope it is helpful/enjoyable. Sorry to come back and bother you with this essay. Thank you for letting me share these for the fellow sickfic enjoyers 😭😭😭

(Apologies in advance for the links not working I’m sorry ahh, you’d have to put it into your browser qwq)

RUI!!! You have no idea how much I appreciate you doing this for us 💖💖💖 hehehe...you're so sweet🙈🙈

I know a lot of people on this blog loooove SKK as well, and you've included many sick Chuuya fics here which I find more difficult to come across...this hand selected list is so beautiful and I really appreciate all of the effort you went through to give this to us 🥺💖

It took me a little bit to get to this ask chronologically between all the asks in my inbox but here are clickable links compiled for everyone's ease, since tumblr asks took yours away hahaha!!

I've included short summaries from the fic's original summaries along with Rui's descriptions, but please head the warnings and tags on the fics themselves!

Enjoy and share with fellow SKK sickfic enjoyers :))) I haven't read many of these and I'm so excited to dive in 🙏 let me know if any of the links are wrong so I can fix them, and if any of these authors see this and want to be tagged on tumblr ;)

Nothing by Fraink5

"Chuuya wakes up with a terrible fever--except he can't stay awake. Dazai is determined to keep Chuuya from losing consciousness, but how long will it last?"

Nebulous by way1203

"Chuuya struggles with the aftermath of using Corruption too many times and Dazai helps him through it."

You're a Canary, I'm a Coal Mine by PlayRough

"Super self indulgent Dazai sickfic."

surely i'll go bite the dirty dust by lizzielovessharks

" "Come on Chuuya," He muttered quietly as they felt themself having to pull Chuuya harder and harder to keep up, "Just a little bit further." -- or more Chuuya angst :) "

In Sickness and In Health by TheShortestAlchemist

"Dazai is sick and Chuuya takes care of him like the loving bf he is~"

I'll Take Care of You by toucheslikethesun

"Dazai walks into the ADA to find a desperate and distressed Chuuya looking for him, haunted by Arahabaki and having been unable to sleep for a long time."

Poisoned Valentine by Wolf__Spirit

"On Valentine's Day, Dazai steals and eats some chocolates that were given to Chuuya in the mafia. Turns out they were poisoned chocolates."

Burning Out by Trinity_of_Madness

" “Chuuya… We have to go…” Dazai whispered and pulled him up unwillingly. -- Chuuya held his hand, followed his guide with his usual smile on his face. Dazai’s chest tightened painfully at the sight, and he couldn’t stop himself from pulling him into a tight embrace."

crimson headache by kaiunkaiku

"the aftermath of corruption is its own kind of hell."

Underwater by TheGreatCatsby

"Chuuya has never liked water, but he never thought about why."

A Joyless Ride by calmlb

"Dazai hates motorcycles but right now he doesn’t have a choice. It does not go well"

on standby for you by lonelydoctors

"Chuuya gets hit by a virus ability and Dazai has to take care of him"

Flashover by affetropia

"Dazai tried again. Now, he gotta to deal with the pain, and Chuuya is there. He always is there when he needs."

beating drums and piping flutes - as they play the rain will fall by saanoir

"Dazai, in the midst of suffering another bout of insomnia, remembers a promise he made to Chuuya a long time ago -- to go to him when he's feeling bad."

I Think I'll Just Collaspe Right Here, Thanks by huntersserenity

" ‘ ‘Samu,’ Chuuya groaned. ‘Wanna take a nap.’ -- ‘You can’t nap right now, darling,’ Dazai said." "

The end 🏁 Enjoy!!

[philzokman]

i got bored here’s a comprehensive list of my favourite facts about some of the irl authors from bsd :D

- chuuya and ango got into an argument and were going to duel, but the duel was cancelled due to chuuyas height

- chuuya, though 5”3 in bsd, was 4”9 irl 😢 heartbreaking </3 KDHSJS

- chuuya was an aggressive drunk and akutagawa got drunk after literally a sip of cider </3

- skk FULLY hated each other, they once had a conversation where chuuya asked dazai his favourite flower to which dazai, sobbing, responded peach flower

- when dazai and chuuya worked together for a literary magazine and it flopped dazai said it was because he worked with chuuya LFKAHMS

- dazai at one point though did have a lot of respect for chuuya however !

- yosano and mori were actually rlly close friends to the point that yosano asked mori to name her twins for her :”]

- akutagawa was a maths tutor. dots.

- dazai and akutagawa might’ve been bisexual !!!

- dazai wanted to win the akutagawa award (very prestigious prize for literature) so badly he wrote a letter that was 4”1 in length to haruo sati (dazais mentor and judge of the award) begging to win the award

- when he didn’t win it, he sent another letter to kawabata (if i’m not mistaken) later saying, quote, “i’ll stab him”

- Rimbaud considered his mother the 'mother of darkness' and when he and his sister passed, she lay herself to rest in between them (whilst she was still alive) to, quote, see how it felt HFDJKS

- ango got suspended from his school for punching a teacher in the face and for (allegedly) making a 2 foot tall snow statue of a dick outside his school when he was 15

- oda loved curry so much that when he died a quote came about saying “when a tiger dies, it leaves it’s skin behind; when oda died, he left curry rice behind”

- lupin is a real bar that still exists in ginza, japan, that dazai oda and ango did regularly visit :”]]]]

hope u enjoyed !! i got most of these facts from the bsd bibliophile, bungo to alchemist wiki and twitter :D god i lvoe literature MDHSJS

[feeblescholarmyass]

An Awful Apology

In which Osamu Dazai does an awful job at consoling you after he got hurt. Alternatively, you give Dazai a bath and it makes you cry.

tags: non-sexual nudity, injuries, bathing together, helping Dazai rewrap his bandages as a sign of affection, Dazai is bad at handling emotions, Dazai uses humor to try to lighten the mood (it doesn't work), scar mention, bittersweet undertones, not really fluff not really angst, angst with comfort maybe?, Dazai x reader

a/n: this originally was going to be multiple characters but then I changed my mind

masterlist

All of the jokes he'd made about seeing you without your clothes had simply been that: jokes. It had served as something to fill the silence that had long accompanied your shared moments of solitude, a way to search for your laughter and make you both forget what you were thinking about.

He would be lying if he told you he'd never thought of you that way, but he would never act in a way that would result in your beautiful humanity being shattered. The light that shined in your eyes was more precious to him than his own life, and he promised himself that he would never do anything to make it go out.

He had never imagined it would happen like this. It was his fault. He'd gotten reckless, even though he knew how you felt about it. He got the job done, and that was what mattered.

But he had gotten hurt. Yosano had wanted to heal him, but after you insisted he should go through the healing process as punishment and had practically threatened to hurt him again yourself if you had to, she relented. So technically it was your fault.

He'd fully expected to have to deal with his injuries himself, but when you followed him home and sat beside him in silence, he began to suspect that you wouldn't be leaving him alone for some time.

He let you sit and stare at him, as uncomfortable as it was. He had tried to tease you about it. "Afraid I'm going to disappear, darling?" He asked, grinning at you playfully.

You hadn't responded. Instead, your grip on your chair tightened and a shaky breath escaped your lips. Oh, he thought.

So he let the silence surround you, a weight that he would bear so you wouldn't cry. That would be the worst possible outcome.

"You smell really bad. You haven't showered in a long time, have you?" You finally spoke, still refusing to look him in the eyes.

He laughed. It sounded hollow, but he didn't know how else to respond.

"The hospital gave me instructions on how to change your bandages after they get wet." You looked away. You knew it was a sore subject. "If you would allow me," you added softly, that look in your eyes spearing through his heart.

"I suppose it might be difficult to do on my own," he said. Strangely, it didn't terrify him as much as he thought it would. Everyone had scars. You would see his. He hadn't expected for you to show him yours.

It wasn't awkward. You removed his clothes, and there were no heated touches or flushed cheeks. It was tender, so much so it almost hurt more that way. He would've preferred it if you had stumbled, showing some sort of hesitation. He would've had something to deflect with that way.

His eyes, as accustomed to wandering as they were, were glued to your hands. They shook with the emotions you wouldn't voice. Even as you gently raised your shirt above your head, it was your hands he noticed. They weren't delicate by any means, he knew that well, but they seemed fragile now. You seemed fragile.

Together, you were seconds away from shattering. You were suspended in mid air the moment before the crash, aware of the impending breakdown you would surely endure, but taking the moment of calm before the storm.

The water was warm, but you felt warmer. Your fingers running through his hair and the sound of your breathing was almost enough to lull him to sleep. The wonderful smell of your shampoo, stronger at the source, wrapped him in a blanket of comfort as you washed away blood and grime from his skin and hair.

"Don't you ever try that again," you whispered. Your voice shook as you spoke. It made him feel guilty.

"I'm sorry," he responded. You both knew he couldn't promise that.

So you took the apology. It wasn't the first time he'd done something so idiotic. For someone who was so intelligent, he made the stupidest mistakes. It definitely wouldn't be the last.

"For once, I get why you hoard bandages," you muttered as you followed the instructions Yosano had given you, along with Dazai's little comments on how tight it was, what felt strange, or how to layer the bandage properly so it didn't come off.

He'd made another joke after that. You had huffed out a little laugh, but it brightened his mood considerably. You were starting to feel better.

Instead of talking about his scars, he asked about yours. "That one on your shoulder, how did you get it? And the one on your arm, wasn't that from a job he'd been on with you? What about this, here?" He asked. It distracted him and got you talking. He cherished each word and listened to each story.

Finally, you finished reapplying his bandages, and he'd run out of questions to ask. You sat on your knees in front of him, and he realized he hadn't stopped your fall.

A tear fell down your cheek, then another. You bit your lip, trying to force the sobs back down. You shook, the force of your own emotions too strong to deny.

He hesitated to reach for you. You'd never cried in front of him before. Even with the years you'd spend at his side, he'd never seen what happened once you reached the safety of your bedroom and allowed yourself to not have to be strong.

His fingers brushed against your cheek. His arm wrapped around your shoulders. He pulled you close and buried his face into your hair. He wouldn't watch, he promised. He was here.

You choked out insult after insult, your words catching in your throat. They hardly stinged with the usual harshness you threw at him. They rolled off his back like water droplets as he hugged you tight.

"I'm sorry," he said again. This time it held more than the apology. You wrapped your arms around him in return. He let you cry until you had nothing left in you.

He accompanied you to your kitchen, where you downed a glass of water and fed him a meal. He'd always liked it when you cooked for him, but this felt more special than usual. There was more heart in it.

He laid beside you as you fell asleep. Your eyes were still puffy and your face still red, but something about you was irresistible. He meant it when he called you beautiful.

"I love you too," you whispered as exhaustion pulled you under. He hadn't said it explicitly, but you'd heard. He loved you for that.

by @feeblescholarmyass on tumblr

comments and reblogs are much appreciated!